My How Things Have Changed

Did you ever read through an old journal of yours only to realize that you don't recognize the person that you were then? That's how flipping through this blog has been for me this morning.

When I left this blog, I was dresses and skirts ONLY, considering wearing a headcovering full-time, and thought that the only place a woman belonged was in the house. So much has changed, and yet, I'm still the same.

One of my favorite things about God is how He works on us. As we read and study our Bible, new things are revealed to us; out of our obedience we follow them, sometimes blindly. There is always a balance to be had between unfettered growth and pausing to hear the Lord's voice, between growing stagnant and jumping into large changes with minimal amounts of information. So it was for me. I felt like my life had lost its purpose, or at least what purpose I saw, I didn't understand because it held little so little value to me. I dove deeper to find my purpose and along the way, came across some very strange notions- things I have never even considered before.

One of them was that women should only wear dresses or skirts. At first, I thought this was insane. Why on earth would you confine a person to wearing a particular outmoded garment just based on their gender? Then, I began to look around and more importantly, I began to read the opinions of other women who had dealt with this issue, almost all of them had turned to "dresses only." As I looked around me, I began to see that it did make sense, that women should be easily recognizable as feminine. I threw out the pants and made (poorly) some skirts to wear. The transition was difficult, but in time, I grew to love my skirts. I got better at sewing and I really did love the idea of looking pretty and feminine all the time. Now, three years later, my principle has stayed the same, but my application has changed. I do think that women should attempt to put an effort into evaluating both the modesty and femininity of their outfits. I think that dresses and skirts should play a much larger role in my wardrobe. Jeans make me lazy. It is too easy to pull on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and call myself dressed. Now, I own one pair of jeans and quite a few skirts. When I get my body back (since Andrew is holding it hostage for another couple of weeks), I intend to update my wardrobe with some nicer looking, feminine clothing. Pants still play a role, but I think that my focus needs to be on looking feminine. [For more information about why I actually made the transition, including the verses I used to back up my decision, feel free to browse my archives.]

One of the other things I found were whole communities of conservative Christian believers who wore headcoverings or pursued a simple lifestyle. My battle with headcovering still goes on in my head every once in a while. The thing is, I have never heard an argument that convinced me that headcovering was unnecessary, but I have heard several that have convinced me to cover. That being said, I don't cover my hair- why? Because, I am honoring my husband and respecting his headship in this matter. That is what covering your head is all about- to show proper order. God to Jesus to man to woman- see 1 Corinthians 11. Eric does not want me to wear a headcovering right now, but should his opinion on the subject change one day, I will gladly submit to his authority.

The simple life is even easier. As I searched for "like-minded people" that both desired their women to wear skirt and headcovers, I found these staunchly religious people who believed that God wanted them to deny many of the current conventions of our society and live an agrarian lifestyle, as close to the land as possible. I admit, that this too, held some allure for me. I felt like my life was going nowhere and thought that this big change was going to be the ticket. I was ready to pack up and move to Texas to camp out while Eric built our house from scratch and raise chickens and farm and use an outhouse. Thankfully, Eric refused. I still have some lingering ideas from this study. I believe that, as Christians, we are called to be good stewards of the earth, which means not wasting our natural resources and not harming the planet when there are better ways. I will eat organic food as my budget allows and I am planning on using cloth diapers (and transition to other cloth products instead of typical paper disposables like tissues, paper towels, and napkins). I would LOVE to have chickens in my backyard and grow some of my own produce. I think this is fun and is mainly a way to help my family live like good stewards while actually saving some money for the family.

As for women staying in the home...well that has changed too, but it is the hardest battle I have fought. I do think that women should be the "keepers at home" that we read about in Titus. However, I am also beginning to think that staying at home and keeping the home are different. Despite the fact that I will have a young baby this fall, I am still planning on going back to school to finish my degree. For our family, this is a financial decision. The VA is paying for me to go back to school so for our family, this is the best choice. I won't have this ability for long. I would love to go back to homeschooling my kids and staying at home, but for now, I am learning how to be the most efficient homemaker possible so that when I am forced to leave the house, I am ready for it.

So much change, so much study, only to change again. I think that God puts me into different positions to consider them carefully and to learn to rely on Him and His word above the conventions of society or whatever feels good or right to me. Sometimes, that has taken me down a crazy rabbit trail, but at the beginning and end, I see God. Lately, I've been seeing how I've become judgmental of people who have not made some of these choices. God has been revealing to me how "un-Godlike" that is in me- that it is, plain and simple, sin. I have a feeling that God is not done with me yet. That's good. My purpose in life is clearer, to be the best wife and mother as I possibly can, to serve God and my family with my whole heart, no matter where I may be, and to glorify God in my actions and point people toward Him.

I am still blogging (infrequently) at my other blog: http://krankemommy.wordpress.com, so check me out there if you want.

No-Poo Challenge, Day 1

Over the past few months, I have been reading about this "no-poo" challenge, where the "poo" stands for shampoo. The idea is that there are so many BAD chemicals in shampoo that we should not "shampoo" our hair altogether. That doesn't necessarily mean don't wash, but don't use regular shampoos. The whole idea is that today's shampoos are designed to remove oil, but much like antibiotics, they don't discriminate good from the bad and therefore strip our hairs of the natural oils that would normally be present. We then add the conditioner to attempt to replace the lost oils. Your hair is able to regulate its own oils though; its much like a supply and demand situation. The more you remove your oils, the more your hair tries to replace it. The goal, then, is to let your hair stabilize where it needs to. 

There are two ways to do this. First, you can wash with water. Yup, that's right, your hands scrub and all you put on is water. Second, you use a baking soda paste (1 tbsp baking soda plus water to form paste) and rub that in to your scalp only. Let sit for a minute and then rinse with water. You then take 2 tbsp of apple cider vinegar and mix in a large cup with enough water to fill it and you rinse the ends of your hair. Let sit for a minute and then rinse out. There is actually a third, which is to just wash with conditioner (not shampoo). From the detail, you can assume that I am choosing the second option and I found details of it here.

So today was day one. I didn't plan ahead, I just jumped in and I hope to go at least 30 days. What do I have to lose? There is a "transition period" where your hair has to adjust to the oils which can take up to a month or so, but I figure that I can very easily cover my head if it becomes nasty. My biggest worry is that I won't be able to stand it. I HATE it when my hair gets dirty and won't let anyone touch it. I anticipate suffering somewhat for the first few weeks, but hopefully it won't be too bad. If I can't take it, I might just try washing with conditioner that day and hoping that the smell of the conditioner makes it feel better...so today, I washed my hair per the instructions on the website and it feels very soft and it was slightly curlier than normal. I went ahead and blew-damp (not dry) my hair because I do that normally, but I also covered it, which I usually do. There were far fewer tangles than normal because I didn't try to wash all my hair, just the roots. That was a welcome relief because I usually have very tangly hair. Stay tuned to see how long I go. Hopefully I will be able to get some pictures...pictures are really important here!

Ugh...Antibiotics...

So I have some serious dental work coming up next week. What I thought was a root canal is now an extraction and then I have another root canal on the opposite side. Then (after our move) I will be getting braces to pull my wisdom teeth forward to cover up the gap left by the extraction...what a mess!

Anyway, because my cheeks are tender, they thought I was getting an infection and anxious to keep my mouth as healthy as possible, they decided to blast everything inside me with a week's worth of Clindamycin. Oh, joy. I have only taken one and I am starting to feel nauseous already...next time, I am taking it with crackers! In between doses I am eating yogurt. Any other suggestions on how to not destroy my body while still taking this poison?

Chili Recipe, with Photos!

Okay, so I have a chili recipe that I absolutely love and wanted to share. So, I took pictures of it as I was cooking and thought I'd share them. Here goes:

Recipe:

1 1/2 pounds ground beef or turkey

1 small onion (I add a green pepper and some celery)

3 cups water

12 oz. can tomato paste

12 oz. can tomato sauce (I also add a can of petite diced tomatoes)

2- 29 oz. (large) cans kidney beans (I add an extra small can of pinto beans)

4 tbsp. chili powder, this makes a nicely spiced dish. If you REALLY don't like spice, decrease it slightly, but even my kids are okay with it. You can add more chili powder to it (which I like) but it is a lot easier to add spice if you want it and nearly impossible to get it out.

2 tsp. sugar, don't leave it out!

1 tsp. oregano

2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp. garlic powder

1/4 tsp. pepper

So that is the actual recipe, but as you will see in the pictures, I deviate quite a bit. That is actually one of my favorite parts about it- there are so many ways to change it up if you need/want to.

Step 1:

Chop (dice) onion. I also dice a green pepper and 3 celery stalks, but if you don't have them on hand, no biggie. You might want to experiment with other veggie choices, but these are my normal stand-bys.

Step 2:

Add a tablespoon of coconut (or olive oil or butter) to a large skillet. If I am only using the onion and no other veggies, then I don't take this extra step, I just toss the onions and ground beef in together; it's faster and you get about the same results. It doesn't work as well when you have this many vegetables though. Since I don't always let it simmer all day, it is good to make sure your veggies are already tender.

Step 3:

Saute vegetables until tender.

Step 4:

Add the ground beef. This recipe is really good with fresh ground turkey and if you are a little short in the quantity, it doesn't matter; it's all a matter of personal preference. I have even used a 50-50 mix of turkey and beef before. You couldn't really tell. I imagine that this would work equally well with any ground meat.

Step 5:

Add all the other ingredients to the crockpot, or if you don't use one, a large soup/stock pan. Since I am using canned beans, this is really a quick meal, because you only need to cook it long enough to allow everything to warm up and mesh together (about 30 minutes) or you can let it simmer on low all day long. If you choose to use dry beans, it would probably be best to soak and completely cook them before using t his recipe since I hear tomato products inhibit the bean's ability to rehydrate and cook properly. I like kidney beans, but I am sure this would work well with any other bean. Maybe a pinto/black bean combo would be good. I also normally make this a "bean-heavy" dish, meaning that I double up on the amount of beans I am supposed to have. It stretches this meal even further.

Step 6:

Add drained ground beef to the crockpot and stir to combine everything. You can see the plastic liner I have on my crockpot. I don't always use them, but when they work, they work well. I am not sure how I feel about cooking my food in plastic though...this was my last one and I won't be purchasing them again.

Step 7:

Cook as long as you want. I prepared this at night, after dinner and let it cook on low for a couple of hours. I am going to store it in the fridge tonight and let it reheat in the crock for several hours from lunch until dinner. I take the chance to cook whenever I get it. I easily could have done all this at lunch tomorrow for dinner that same night, but this chili really is better the second day. About 10 minutes before you serve it, mix in the can of tomatoes, I use petite diced.

Step 8:
Serve! We like to eat this with whole wheat saltine crackers. I dip them in, my husband crackes them up and mixes them in. (Which probably decreases the spice a little for him...ketchup is spicy for him...:) ) We also top it with some cheese. This would be a good baked potato filling too. Next time, I am going to try it with pintos and black beans and make a "frito pie" out of it...yummy! This recipe fills my large oval crockpot (I think it's 5 quarts?) so we usually eat it once and then I save a small amount for leftovers and freeze the rest in individual servings. It is really easy to reheat and doesn't lose any flavor!

Another Update on Katie

My sister Katie has been dealing with a variety of health problems, all seemingly circular, one causing the other and no real original cause until a month ago when she had an exam and the doctor (finally!) noticed a tumor or fibroid growing in my sister's uterus. She scheduled Katie for surgery and that took place yesterday.

They were able to do a laparoscopic surgery to remove this tumor/fibroid/bloody mass. It was about 3 inches long, which is about the size of a 3 month old "pre-born" baby, without the cute fingerprints and essential heartbeat, of course. No wonder Katie's body has been acting crazy!!!

We are hoping that this will cure Katie's constant anemia and "endometriosis" and create a new, healthy sister once again. Hooray! Sing praises to the Lord!!!

Don't Worry, It's only a Tumor!!!

My sister, Katie, has been in and out of doctor's offices and hospitals for about two years now because of frequent anemia, heavy periods, endometriosis and the fact that they were completely unable to find a reason for all the problems going on. Katie finally changed doctors to one that would be a little more proactive about finding the actual problem while still treating the symptoms. (Her previous doctor told her that (at age 25) she was a lost cause and needed a hysterectomy.) During an exam where the doctor was actually able to insert a camera she exclaimed, "Katie, I know what your problem is! You have a tumor!" Usually there would be some sorrow or upset, but there was joy in the room because this three inch long fibrous tumor that had taken up residence in Katie's uterus was operable! Not only that, but it is fibrous, and benign...no cancer.

Now, Katie is scheduled for an MRI that will determine the exact parameters and how to best remove it. Apparently there are three different ways to remove the tumor, depending on size and placement. It is extremely likely that this tumor is what has been causing the painful cycles, anemia, and is likely what doctors confused for endometriosis! Praise the Lord!!! I'll post more when I know what else is going on, but for now, I give thanks and praise to my glorious Lord!!!

***I stand corrected, my sister, Kelly (Katie's twin) informs me that it is technically NOT a tumor but a fibroid...I don't really know what the difference is, perhaps composition, but either way, I can rejoice that the doctors have a last FOUND SOMETHING!!!

Check out my Other Site!

I have been reading a lot about nutrition lately (again) and I have been needing to diet (again). It is one thing to dress like and act like a lady, but when you are 50+ pounds overweight, even a dress doesn't look very feminine. I know that I have to accept the body that God has given me, but I also know that I am responsible for taking care of it, something I have sadly neglected. My new site is called FISH: Finally, I'm Seeking Health and I will be posting ways that I am attempting to lose weight, my weight and measurements, pictures of progress, health-related articles, anything I can think of to inspire me on my journey. I am open to other contributors, so if you want to lose weight and are looking for a place to post your results, I'd welcome you!

Update on Katie

My mom flew to New Mexico the other day and so now I have a consistent line of information. Katie is doing fine, she is at home now and the doctors think that the liver condition is a result of the mono. The major concern right now is to get the proper nutrients into her body. She is already extremely thin so she can't afford to lose any weight. Adding this to the other million things that are already wrong with her and my mom says that she is taking about 12 different medications, including pain-killers, everyday. Continued prayers are always appreciated.

Modesty and the Olympics

Boy has this modesty subject really turned my life around!!! I was happy and content wearing snug-fitting blue jeans and t-shirts. My shirts aren't incredibly low-cut, but they are low enough to need caution when bending down. However, I have always taken pride in how modest I dress comparatively. Now my notions seem to be tumbling down around me! My mother and I (along with my two children) visited the zoo the other day and I was shocked at what I was seeing. Women with no bras, insane amounts of skin revealed, outfits that are specifically designed to show off the female figure. I am sure that my mom was tired of me commenting on the immodesty of the people at the zoo that day, but she wisely held her tongue until we were in the car later that day. My mom has been the most vocal about my changes but I expected that. Actually, I am very impressed with how well my mom is staying silent about my choices but I get the feeling that she is just waiting for it to all blow over, as many of my ideas and commitments have in the past. Lately, our conversation has centered around the Olympics, which brings a welcome "easy topic" to the subject list....or does it?

I am feeling a little bit like a hypocrite on this subject matter. I don't think that all swimsuits are immodest. I think that a well-cut Speedo type suit is perfectly modest, though many would say that it isn't modest at all and I would agree with them too. I love watching gymnastics; it is my favorite sport in the world. As I watched the events this year, I kept seeing these young women's rear ends hanging out of the side of the leotard. Not only was this unattractive but the camera had a way of focusing (probably because of the angles due to the elevated platforms) on all these spots! Then comes the question, okay, so it's immodest. Now what? Do you prevent any activity in that sport because the uniform is immodest? Gymnastics is one of the oldest sports around, though I suppose that it hasn't always been the women in the events. 

After thinking it all through I am prepared to be on the conservative side of "mainstream" and just specify that the modesty within a particular sport but evaluated from within the sport. This makes sense to me because a bathing suit (even a modest Speedo) is not appropriate to go to Wal-Mart in. However,  modest suit at the swimming pool does not attract attention and I think that is the key. I would say that it would be extremely appropriate to attempt to train with same-sex training partners and coaches and I would specify that an immediate cover-up is also appropriate when in mixed company. However, I wouldn't go so far as to completely avoid ALL sports that compromise our normal standards of feminine dress and modesty. There are plenty of subtle ways to be feminine and modest even when participating in sports that necessitate an immodest uniform.

There is another reason for all these thoughts, in addition to the Olympics....though it's a long one. I truly want to get pregnant again, but for my health and the baby's health, my husband and I have agreed to wait until I lose a significant amount of weight. Mostly we are waiting more on the establishment of a healthy lifestyle and habits rather than the arbitrary numbers on the scale but I have long been feeling like I needed to set a specific goal. That is wear triathlon comes in. While gymnastics is my favorite sport, I have absolutely no hopes of ever performing more than a cartwheel. I really enjoy tennis, but it is difficult to "work out" for tennis without a partner. I really do enjoy swimming however, and biking, and running (or at least I did when I could actually run). Combining those three seemed to be a good combination of everything that I needed: a physically active goal, an independent sport, and inherent variety. So, now I am going to be attempting to train for a triathlon on top of everything else. The GREAT news is that as I am just a beginner, I can wear my modest workout pants while running or biking, and a suit and shorts for swimming. 

So, now I turn my thoughts to anyone else's. What do you consider to be appropriate exercise for a woman attempting to stay modest? Important to note is that I am not trying to lose 10 pounds, I am trying to lose 50+. So, am I being hypocritical by wearing dresses to Wal-Mart and a Speedo in the pool? (Luckily the head covering isn't as large as issue because it is essential to wear a swimming cap in the pool, a helmet on the bike, and okay to wear a hat during the run...however, those things might cover the head, but that doesn't make them headcovers, does it? Suggestions?