Labor Pains

Labor hurts. I think most (if not all) women approach labor and the impending delivery with mixed feelings; joy for the new life and fear of the unknown (and sometimes known) pain. At some point you feel like it just can’t be done, you can’t stand the pain any longer, can’t push anymore…and then they tell you the baby is crowning, you’re almost there, just a little more….with a little more effort, your hard work, blood, sweat and tears have resulted in a beautiful baby. The sound of that piercing cry announcing their presence makes it worth it, and you forget that you ever thought you couldn’t do it. I’m in labor right now, albeit a different variety. I won’t produce a crying baby from this labor, but I might just push through to find a happier, more content family.

We had a busy day today, all in different places, but we ended our days at Wal-Mart doing some grocery and random things shopping. By the time we brought in all the stuff, we were ready for a quick dinner and a nice relaxing evening. Noah, on the other hand, had other plans. He wanted to watch TV. My little 2 year old plopped himself on the couch and repeatedly said, “T-view” which is his version of “TV”. This isn’t abnormal and most of the time, he gets his way. Tonight, I told him no, but he kept repeating himself (he does that often). Then Eric stepped in and told Noah no. Eric has a louder voice than I do. Noah bust into tears. The tears didn’t dry up so Eric sent him to his bed (where are children are told to go if they feel the need to cry). Eric was so upset at Noah’s need to have the TV on that he removed the whole thing several minutes ago. Not only that, but he took out the DVD player (which wasn’t a whole lot of good without the TV, I must admit). I feel like Noah, ready to bust into tears.

The kids might enjoy watching TV and Noah really does seem to have a “need” to watch TV, at least it is the first thing he turns to for comfort and in boredom, but it’s really me that has the need. I love being able to “sleep in” on the couch when I have a bad morning. I love being able to shower during the day. I love being able to direct my children somewhere and have them go willingly and stay there so that I can get something done. I love sitting in front of it myself, watching brainless shows. I love being able to put it on even if it serves as only background noise. What don’t I like? I don’t like that I like those things! I want my children to grow up watching me doing the cooking and cleaning and be working right along side me. I want my kids to break out a game to play when they are bored. I want to have time to read to my children. I want my kids to learn at home, and actually learn! But it still hurts.

This is the labor pain; where I must endure something painful in order to give life to something completely new and wonderful. A woman rarely labors alone, she always has a support system in place, people to comfort and to encourage. She sometimes has a knowledgeable person present who can tell her how much further she has to go and to remind her about what she will gain from persevering through this trial. I find that comfort system in the blogs I read, my family, my husband, and mostly in my Lord. He is my Comforter, the one shouting at me in a mixture of excitement and angst, “you’re almost there, don’t stop yet!”

In many ways, labor is just like anything else in life. We go through the fire in our spiritual lives and come out sanctified and closer to God. We struggle to build up a marriage and end knowing each other better than we know ourselves. As a family, our goal is to be beacons to the world, to support and edify each other, to learn to serve and to unconditionally love each other. A family is a safe place to try new ideas, develop lasting friendships, to learn values and beliefs and bring glory to God. The television doesn’t help any of those things. It is a time waster. There is very little material benefit, and though there are good shows to watch (I personally like watching The Duggar’s show, 17 Kids and Counting), not watching them is just fine as well.

I was at my strongest over four years ago when, after having pushed for three and a half hours, my daughter was still unwilling to come out. They told me that I would need a C-Section and the doctor left to go prep the room. The last thing that I wanted was a C-Section. The nurse in front of me knew that and she told me that I didn’t need one, that I could do it. During the next 30 minutes I was pushing well and my daughter was crying on my stomach. Without that nurse, I might have given up. I knew better, I knew what I wanted but I didn’t think I could do it. I DID IT!!! I pray that I can go back to that moment when my will overcame my want.